Boundaries – and Your Fear of Letting People Down
Worried about letting people down?
Kristin here! Last week's #k12prChat about wellness involved SO many thoughtful conversations about the variety of approaches to create wellness in a demanding profession. But it was a tweet toward the end from Carrie Sterrs that really made me pause.
I paused because it took me back a few months to a moment when I found myself face-to-face with this struggle -- and it wasn't easy.
In February, just a few months after starting my new job, I was invited to participate in the Willdan Leadership Challenge, a program that connects employees with company leaders, as well as team members across the country. One of the three days we met involved reviewing confidential feedback from colleagues who we asked to complete an online leadership inventory prior to the challenge.
If you're like me, you page through the report quickly -- looking for comments. (Who has time to decode data bars and Group Norm indicators when there are juicy bits of narrative to read?) But as I skimmed through kind praise and positive reflections, my eyes suddenly stopped on a single comment from one of my 10 reviewers, under the "Follows through on commitments" category.
Cue silent freak out: I got ranked down on commitment. I'm not committed enough. I'm not as valuable an employee as I could be. I'm letting down my team. I am letting down the world.
As my thoughts unraveled, I fought to pull myself back to center. (Brene Brown readers will notice this was a textbook shame spiral.) Even the mildest of criticism is hard to swallow when it hits in a place of such great vulnerability.
The weekend wrapped up, and I headed home. A long sit in the San Diego airport allowed me time to decipher the bars of data and Group Norm indicators -- which is when I noticed that the lowest score I got on the Commitment category was a 7 out of 10. I found no shame in that.
As I reflected and shared the retreat experience with a few others over the next few weeks, I realized that few things affected me more personally than that comment. But each time I shared the comment -- with my husband, with a close friend or two, and eventually with my therapist -- I realized that it was far more triumph than failure. After all, I had tried for a solid two years to put my family first. Maybe this is how it looks.
Eventually, I reworked my understanding from letting the world down to ensuring my job doesn't force me to let myself or my family down.
Fact: We juggle a lot of balls in life. There are at least a half dozen work balls, plus balls for our family, our friends, our own wellness.
Fact: We can never juggle all of them, all of the time.
So perhaps instead of asking ourselves who we might let down now and then, let's remind ourselves that we're at our best when our job leaves room for what matters most. And that begins with an honest conversation with your boss about healthy professional boundaries
Have you registered for our Power Hour?
We are getting really excited about the chance to continue our wellness conversation with a PR Power Hour on Friday, Sept. 27! We will be joined by Heather Carter, a social work leader who has supported our efforts from the beginning. Not only will we explore the wellness risks associated with being a high-performing school PR practitioner, but we will also outline strategies and tactics you can implement right away.
Click here for all the details and steps to register yourself for the one-hour online workshop.
Thanks, Marketvolt!
Our #k12prWell email effort just got a big boost from Pat Hawn and our friends at MarketVolt. When Pat reached out and offered free use of the super strategic e-mail marketing platform, we couldn't refuse. Please help us show our thanks to Pat and MarketVolt for making it easier for us to keep the #k12prWell conversation going.
Thanks for being part of the #k12prWell conversation!
Shawn & Kristin
Shawn McKillop, APR | @ShawnMcKillop on Twitter
Kristin Magette, APR | @kmagette on Twitter